I found myself watching the end of Jon & Kate plus 8 last night, and like many of you, I found myself both saddened and upset that their marriage struggles were on national tv for everyone to see. I hope and pray that they can work through the tough times they are experiencing. At the end of the show, they both said something that bothered me. They both said that it is all about the kids. While that may sound like the right thing to say, it is far from what the Bible teaches. It made me think back to a book I read several years ago by Ed Young called Kid CEO. The absolute best thing for children is for parents to have a strong marriage.
In the book, Ed shares how many marriages get in trouble because all the focus and energy is on the children. After time, the husband and wife find themselves in a position where they really have drifted apart. The Biblical model for marriage and parenting is to teach and train our children to leave. It may sound harsh, but we have a responsibility to prepare them for life, and hopefully that includes demonstrating true love, even in the face of adversity.
Let me encourage you as parents …
- To take time to strengthen your marriage
- To pray together
- To read your Bible together
- To take time away from the kids
- To communicate clearly and often
- To sit down and talk, even when it is tough
- To work as a team
- To date often
- And to not be afraid to get counseling
Here’s some info on the book.
In these days of corporate scandal, there’s a far more pervasive and serious problem going on right under our noses. It’s a family takeover orchestrated by our kids. That’s right – children are taking control of family units in record numbers. When a man and woman marry, says author Ed Young, they occupy the leadership roles in their relationship. But in some cases, as children enter the family arena, that begins to change. The kids slowly become the center of the family universe as parents relinquish control to them. In effect, the children become Kid CEO’s and the parents become the support staff. As parents, we have charge of our children for only a short time. It’s up to us to prepare them for life.
I appreciate yours and Jenni's model in your own marriage.