Are You A People Pleaser?

I love the series that they are doing right now at Lifechurch called You Don’t Have What It Takes.  I listened to the 2nd message in the series yesterday by Craig Groeschel and it really impacted me in a powerful way.   Craig shared about the trap of people pleasing.  It is so easy to shift from trying to please God into trying to please other people.   It happens sometimes without even realizing it.  Craig lists four characteristics of “people-pleasers”   How many of these describe you?  I scored 3 out of 4, which is not a good thing.

People Pleasers …

  1. People pleasers take most criticism personally (Ouch! I have a tough time taking criticism, especially when I feel it is not warranted.  I tend to be hurt by what others say and I have a tough time getting it out of my mind)_
  2. People pleasers feel an extraordinary fear of rejection (this one lurks under the surface. If I am honest with myself, I do want people to like me.)
  3. People pleasers find it hard to express their true feelings because they don’t want to hurt others (I’m safe on this one.  Most of the time I probably am too harsh with others and I tend to speak before thinking through how it will affect others)
  4. People pleasers have a hard time saying no (Ouch again.  I take on way too much.  I know I must become more focused and not be afraid to tell people no to the good things so I can go after the best things)

Here are a few quotes and thoughts that I have really been meditating on and thinking through

  • Becoming obsessed about what others think about you is the fastest way to forget what God thinks about you.
  • I can’t please everyone, but I can please God
  • Pleasing people is simply idolatry – it is us telling God that other people are more important.
  • John 12:42-43
  • The more successful you become, the more people that won’t like you
  • Love the approval of God more than the opinions of others.
  • If you let the opinions of others drive you it will put a ceiling on your success, and you will no longer continue seeking God’s approval
  • Fear of God is the best antidote for the fear of what people think

Are people too big in your life, and is God too small? Be who God created you to be, and don’t be afraid to take stands that may be unpopular.  This is something I need to continue working on.  On the surface, I would say that I’m not a people pleaser, but when I really think through some of these points, I realize that I have to carefully guard against this trap of idolatry.  Watch the entire message here and let me know what you think.


I am a former design engineer who now pastors Cornerstone Community Church in Galax, Virginia. I'm passionate about following Jesus and I love technology. I've been married to Jennifer for 28 years, and we have three adult children.

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4 Responses

  1. Susanne says:

    I am listening to this series as well… haven’t gotten to this particular message yet, but I know it’s gonna whack me between the eyes. Let me introduce myself… I’m Susanne Reeder, People Pleaser Extraordinaire! 😉

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

  2. My *two* little blessings............... says:

    You’re so right , Mike.

    Here’s a reason to blog…
    Go to my blog to find out the rulses…
    YOU’VE been TAGGED =)

  3. My *two* little blessings............... says:

    Not “RULSES”, but RULES…OOPS

  4. Mary says:

    I hate being a people please. It rules my whole life because I always tools care of someone in the family and I’m tried of doing!!!!! I want a life of my own!!!!!!

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