It’s the end of an era for my family and my ministry. My daughter will officially be entering into the youth ministry in a few weeks at church! I’m not sure how it happened, but somehow, I turned into a middle school dad. I’m having a tough time seeing my baby girl grow up, and this just adds fuel to the fire.

I’m extremely thankful that we have a huge group of pre-teens at church, and my daughter can’t wait to start attending. I’m also thankful that we have Jr. High leaders who really love this age group and do a great job teaching and leading them. I’ve been involved in youth ministry for a long time now, but Jr. High is not my calling. You need patience, energy, and discipline in order to keep them having fun while staying focused. I still help and teach some with our older teens, but I’m not sure how I will handle that when my daughter joins that group in a few years. I’m having a tough enough time now with her in our Jr. High group.

Nobody likes to admit that they are greedy and materialistic, yet that is one of our biggest problems in our society today.  We buy stuff that we don’t need with money we don’t have. And then we expect someone to bail us out when we get into financial trouble. We are in the middle of a series called In God We Trust at Cornerstone. We’re taking a hard look at how we can really honor God with our possessions and our finances. To help show how easy it is to manage money in a way that honors God, I recruited some high powered help. Check out this video from my little man.

As a father, I’m incredibly proud of all my children, but seeing them learn from an early age about honoring God and saving money is awesome! I even want to share a little story about Drew, the six year old star of the above video.  About six months ago, while he was eating a snack in the cafe before the service started, he asked me about one of the offering boxes. I told him what it was and he went on to talk about something else. About 5 minutes later, I glanced over and saw him sneaking over to the box. He made sure no one was looking and he slipped some money out of his pocket and put it into the box.  I asked him about it later that day and he just said he felt he needed to give some of his “extra” money back to God. He had already tithed out of his allowance, but he wanted to give more!

If you want to teach your younger kids about handling money, one excellent resource is Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace Jr. For your high school and college kids, I highly recommend Joe Sangl’s book What Everyone Should Know About Money Before They Enter THE REAL WORLD. Let’s teach our families the true meaning of Proverbs 3:9 and let them learn the joy of giving.

I have shared about OpenDNS before, but I wanted to let you know about a new free service they are now offering. FamilyShield is a web filter that blocks out inappropriate sites on your home or business computers. I have used OpenDNS to protect my home network and our church network for the past two years and it has worked great.

FamilyShield is a stripped down version of OpenDNS basic that requires very little setup and no configuration.  It works by simply changing a few settings in your wireless router. They keep a constantly updated list of inappropriate sites and there is no software to install on your computer.  Since it works through your router, it also protects all computers on your network including any iPods, gaming systems, or other home devices. Check out their site for more information. I highly recommend it.

I shared the story last week in church about a conversation I overheard between my son and my nephew last year.  Boys typically think that their dads can do anything, and this conversation was no exception. They were talking about all the things their dads could do when my nephew Todd shared that his dad was a chef at a restaurant.  My son Luke stopped to think a minute, and then shared that his dad didn’t work anymore because he was a preacher. OUCH! Kids can be honest, but it does show that ministry has a perception problem.

The truth is that ministry is hard work. But the work is different and few people understand the challenges ministers face. The biggest change I’ve noticed from the corporate engineering world is the lack of a set schedule that most ministers deal with. Engineering was a demanding career that I loved, but when I left work each evening, I didn’t have to deal with anything until the next day. In ministry, you juggle meetings at night, unexpected pastoral care calls, study time, devotion time, and family time. My mind is constantly thinking about church and the vision and direction we are setting. And you’re still expected to share a great message from God each and every week, because Sunday really does come every week. In smaller churches, the pastor is expected to be able to do a little of everything, and you face constant challenges of training and equipping people to really do the work of the church as Ephesians 4:11-12 commands.  The job of a leader is never done.

I feel that you have to be called to ministry, otherwise there is no way you can stick with it. The demands are high, and there are plenty of people who have high expectations and aren’t afraid to let you know it. You need to have thick skin and a soft heart. My advice to anyone considering ministry is to not even consider it, unless you are willing to work hard and you feel that God is truly calling you into His service as a career. For me, there is no doubt that I’m doing what God created me to do. I love making an eternal difference in people’s lives, and I’m excited to play a small role in God’s plan for our community and church. I truly believe that ministry is not work, it is a way of life. But to live your life in obedience to God’s calling takes a huge commitment and a willingness to work hard.

For many parents, facebook is like a foreign country full of surprises. If you can’t speak the language and you don’t know where things are, it can be a frustrating experience. With the recent surge in both parents and youth jumping into facebook, I wanted to share some ideas about how we can prepare and protect our children. I’ll tackle several issues that have come up in conversation with parents I know.

How Old Should My Child Be Before They Get a Facebook Account?

Based on the terms of service for facebook, children must be at least 13 years old. I see no reason not to honor this. In fact, here are some reasons why I think it is a great idea.

• As a social network, the power of facebook is connecting with your friends who are already on the network. Most children under 13 don’t have accounts.
• What are we teaching are children about truthfulness if they have to lie about their birthdate to create an account?
• Most younger children are still innocent enough that they don’t see the danger in sharing personal information. Their pictures and status updates are available to everyone if you haven’t changed the default facebook settings.
• One word: Drama
• Children under 13 would have a tough time differentiating between legitimate people wanting to be your friend and those who are selling something. I even have a tough time. Just today, I accepted a friend request from someone who looked like a normal user and then clicked on their profile to find out that they were linking to porn. There are dangers online, and we must be willing to protect our children.

How Do I Prepare My Child For a Facebook Account

If your older child or teen already has a facebook account (and they probably do), then how can you talk with them and help prepare them and teach them proper online safety and accountability? I would suggest the following:

• Change the default privacy settings: Go to the facebook help section on privacy and learn how to set the privacy options. I would suggest changing the default settings on status updates, photos, and photo albums to make them viewable only to their friends. Also go into the privacy settings for their profile and change each option as you deem appropriate.
• Check their profile information: It is never a good idea for a child to share their address on facebook, so make sure personal information that could compromise their safety is deleted from their profile.
• Learn about Limited Profiles: You can create a friend list for those people you don’t know quite as well and assign them to a limited profile.  You can further restrict what certain people see about you by setting this up. Check the help section for more information on how to set this up.
• Discuss with your child who to accept/invite as friends: Are you just going to add people who you know in person, or will you expand it out to friends of friends? What about people who you don’t know at all? As a cautious parent, I would suggest not adding someone if you don’t know them.
• Discuss the importance of accountability: As I mentioned earlier, there are dangers with inappropriate sites on the internet. I feel that the benefits of reaching the online generation far outweigh the dangers, but let’s help our children to see the importance of accountability. Encourage them to talk with their friends about the language they use online, about the pictures they post, and about the sites they visit. As a parent, take the steps needed to protect your child. It may mean that you look through the browsing history daily, it may mean that you install filtering software or accountability software, it may mean that you only let them on facebook in the family room with others present.  Take the time to discuss and talk with your child, and come up with a plan that will protect them and teach them the proper use of the internet.
• Remind them that you can’t delete what you post: Yes you can delete a post or status update, but someone somewhere will have a copy of it. Think before you post! If you join a group with an nasty name, guess what, everyone knows. If you attend a party and pictures are posted, guess what, everyone knows. Encourage them to live a life of purity of Holiness. 1 Timothy 4:12 tells them that they should be an example to others. Teach your children that facebook is a mission field, with the entire world watching.  What kind of example will you set?

What are some other questions you have? Leave a comment and we’ll keep the conversation going.

It’s been a long, long time since I ran in a 5K.   It was actually my senior year of high school when I was part of the cross country team.   I have ran off and on over the past several years, but something always comes up and causes me to quit.   Whether it was a kidney stone, ankle problems, my psoriasis, or just plain laziness, I seem to always find an excuse.  Well, I am officially out of excuses. I have signed up to run in the Susan G. Komen Lowcountry Race For the Cure in Charleston, South Carolina in October.

This will be a special day because I am running with several family members. My mother-in-law was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 35 and has been blessed to overcome this disease. She will be running the race as well, joining with my wife and my sister-in-law to raise money to help others in their fight against cancer. I will be running  with the team from Bambu, the restaurant in Mt. Pleasant where my brother-in-law serves as the executive chef.

Although this will be my first 5K in almost 20 years, I am excited about running for such a great cause. I don’t ask for much here on this blog, but I am asking that you consider making a tax-deductible donation to support breast cancer research.  You may donate online with your credit card by clicking the “Support” button at my personal race page. Your support helps us get another step closer to a world without breast cancer.

We just got back home from a vacation to Washington, D.C. and Williamsburg, Virginia.  We had a great time seeing all the historic sites and memorials for our great country.  But the sights and sounds weren’t the focus of the trip.  The time with family is the important part of any vacation.

It’s easy to fall into a trap of over-planning the places you visit.  You can fill your schedule up with so many activities that you don’t make time to talk and laugh and play with each other.  In D.C., I was slowly falling into the trap of trying to do too much.  I’m a task-oriented person by nature, so it’s easy for me to go full-steam ahead.  It was a little stressful walking all over D.C. and riding the Metro.  I have always felt pretty safe in D.C., but with my family there, I was a little on edge.  If you have watched Hillbilly Ninja, you know what this Southwest Virginia boy can do.

But after a few days, I’m glad to report that I finally unwound and slowed down and started having fun with the family.  And by the time we got to Williamsburg, we were having a great time.  The kids were wild, we were laughing, and we even saw a few great sights in the process.

You can plan a great trip, but I think it is much better to plan a great vacation with your family.  Don’t forget what is really important.  Create great family memories by having fun together.

It’s good to be back home in the land of sweet tea and friendly people.

Here are a few pictures from our trip.

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Our family is leaving in the morning for a vacation, so I’ll be unplugging from my internet world for several days.  We’re going to Washington, D.C. and Williamsburg with the kids.  I plan on attending Mark Batterson’s National Community Church on Sunday and also checking out Ebenezers Coffeehouse while I’m there.  I’ll see if I can pick up any ideas for our Cornerstone Cafe.  I’ll try to send a few updates over twitter, but for the most part, my blog will be silent.  See you guys on the other side.

On our youth retreat, I gave our students a survey.  One of the questions was “Do your parents engage you in conversations about spiritual matters?”  Here are their answers …

• Never - 9.5% of students
• Infrequently - 43% of students
• Regularly - 47.5% of students

The numbers are actually higher than I expected.  What may be surprising to parents is that there is a very strong correlation between spiritual growth and parental involvement.   In other words, what happens at home is far more important than what happens at church.  Our job in ministry is not just to teach our youth, but to equip and encourage their parents to do the same.

Have you seen this in your ministry? What are your thoughts about equipping and training parents?

Just letting you know that I am still alive.  Our family has been on a short vacation for a few days. We spent a few days at the beach visiting family and getting sunburned. I’ll be posting about some things I learned and observed from our trip, but for now, I’m still getting caught up. It was an awesome trip, and I had so much fun playing with the kids and spending great quality time with Jennifer. These times away are so important to strengthening my marriage and showing love to my kids.

On a personal note, pray for me as I travel with Scattered, our Cornerstone Saturday night band and speak at a youth camp Friday night near Gate City.   It will be a very busy and crazy day, but I love the opportunity to share with teens.

First of all, I want to share a video with you that we showed at Cornerstone this morning.  Just look at the pictures of fathers and their children.  You can see the joy and pride in each picture.  Then think about how your heavenly Father views you.   Don’t forget this Father’s Day that you are loved!

I hope everyone had a great Father’s Day.  I’ve spent the day with my wife and children as we visited my parents and her parents.  We had way too much food and good times for one day.  I shared in church this morning about Drew making me a special Father’s Day card.  On Saturday night, he spent a long time coloring it and drawing on it and then it was time to give it to me.  He couldn’t wait until Father’s Day, so he presented the card to me, grinning from ear to ear.  As I opened it, a $1 bill fell out.  You see, he had emptied his piggy bank, found the bill, and happily gave it away.  I gave him a huge hug and let him know how special of a gift it really was.  Luke and Emma have also shown much love to me today.  I am so proud of my children.  I want to share a post with you from Mark Batterson at evotional.com.  In his post, All I Want For Father’s Day, Mark shares his hope and prayer for his children.  I hope reading it will bless you as it did me.

What do I want for Father’s Day? It’s so simple and so important. I want my kids to grow up to love God with all of their heart, soul, mind, and strength. I know I cannot control it, but I can pray for it. I pray that they would personalize and internalize their faith. I pray that they would own their faith and that their faith would own them. I pray for an intense spiritual hunger. A hunger to know God. A hunger to serve God. I pray for a double portion just like Elisha. I don’t carewhat they do or who they become as long as their love for God grows deeper and stronger. That love will define them. That love will give them a sense of destiny. That love will sustain them through the ups and downs of life.

That’s what I want for Father’s Day.

Fourteen years ago today, I was a nervous wreck.  I had just graduated from Virginia Tech and started a job as a Crash-test Engineer for an aerospace company in North Carolina, and I was getting ready for one of the biggest moments of my life.   On that day, I married my high-school sweetheart and we started on an incredible journey.   We had dated for over 5 years, and my only regret is that we didn’t get married sooner.

Fast forward to today.  Three children later with a career change into ministry, and our marriage is still getting better every day.   The above picture is from a parade back during winter, but I think it is an awesome picture of our family.

I am truly a blessed man.  I thank God every day for my wife and family, and I pray that I will be the husband and father that God has called me to be.  Thanks Jenni, for being an incredible wife and an incredible mother to our children.

My wife also has a blog about where she shares about our family and ministry.  Check it out at http://www.jennimorris.com

Kid CEO by Ed Young

I found myself watching the end of Jon & Kate plus 8 last night, and like many of you, I found myself both saddened and upset that their marriage struggles were on national tv for everyone to see.   I hope and pray that they can work through the tough times they are experiencing. At the end of the show, they both said something that bothered me.  They both said that it is all about the kids.   While that may sound like the right thing to say, it is far from what the Bible teaches.   It made me think back to a book I read several years ago by Ed Young called Kid CEO.   The absolute best thing for children is for parents to have a strong marriage.

In the book, Ed shares how many marriages get in trouble because all the focus and energy is on the children.  After time, the husband and wife find themselves in a position where they really have drifted apart.  The Biblical model for marriage and parenting is to teach and train our children to leave.  It may sound harsh, but we have a responsibility to prepare them for life, and hopefully that includes demonstrating true love, even in the face of adversity.

Let me encourage you as parents …

• To take time to strengthen your marriage
• To pray together
• To read your Bible together
• To take time away from the kids
• To communicate clearly and often
• To sit down and talk, even when it is tough
• To work as a team
• To date often
• And to not be afraid to get counseling

Here’s some info on the book.

In these days of corporate scandal, there’s a far more pervasive and serious problem going on right under our noses. It’s a family takeover orchestrated by our kids. That’s right – children are taking control of family units in record numbers. When a man and woman marry, says author Ed Young, they occupy the leadership roles in their relationship. But in some cases, as children enter the family arena, that begins to change. The kids slowly become the center of the family universe as parents relinquish control to them. In effect, the children become Kid CEO’s and the parents become the support staff. As parents, we have charge of our children for only a short time. It’s up to us to prepare them for life.

The blog has been quiet for a couple of days because our family has been traveling.   On Thursday we spent most of the day traveling down to Charleston, South Carolina to visit Jennifer’s sister and her family.   Of course we had to make a detour through Charlotte so I could check out the new Ikea store and eat lunch. We stayed at their house and enjoyed spending some great time with the family.  After waking up Friday I was able to take my oldest son to the driving range to hit some golf balls, and then we all went to the beach.  For a mountain boy like me, the ocean is a special place.  I could get used to just walking down the beach, listening to my ipod and talking with God.  And then we all went to eat at my brother-in-law’s new restaurant.  He is the executive chef at Bambu, a new Asian bistro in Mount Pleasant.   If you’re ever in the area, then you definitely want to check it out.  It’s on Coleman Blvd, and the food was absolutely amazing.  We had some great sushi and lobster won-tons for appetizers, and then I enjoyed some huge scallops.  It’s upscale, but affordable, and my brother-in-law Chang loaded us up with some special food.

We traveled back to Galax on Saturday, bringing our niece and nephew with us to stay for a few days.  You’ll have to listen to my sermon to hear the whole story about getting stuck in traffic and almost running out of gas, but we made it home in time for our Saturday night worship experience at Cornerstone.

Great fun, great memories, and great time with family.  I’ve got lots to share on the blog over the next few days, so look for several posts about church and leadership.

Over the years, I’ve talked with youth groups numerous times about dating, relationships, purity, and sex. I’ve seen many different curriculums spring up and then disappear, and I usually end up teaching lessons I have developed myself. This year, I decided to do something different.

I read on someone’s blog (I can’t remember who now) that they showed a sermon series to their youth from Craig Groeschel at Lifechurch.tv.   This was the sermon series that ended up becoming the book Going All The Way, Preparing for a Marriage That Goes the Distance.  I have been using this book for pre-marriage counseling over the past year and I highly recommend it.  I reviewed it a while back here on this blog.

So here’s what we did.  During youth we showed each sermon, and then I took time to lead a discussion based on what we just watched and heard.  I firmly believe that we need to challenge our youth and our these videos generated some great discussion.   Our discussions typically lasted over 30 minutes after each sermon.  Our youth don’t need watered-down devotions, they need to hear the truth in a direct, powerful, and encouraging way.   Although these sermons were geared for an adult worship service, they touched on many of the same issues these guys and girls are facing.  I wouldn’t show sermons like this every week, but it worked well for this series.

If you are interested in doing something like this, check out the free resources that Lifechurch.tv offers on their open website.  If you just want to watch the sermons online, then you can find them here at the Lifechurch.tv website.