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More Redneck Jokes

From Evotional


You know you’re a redneck if…

you have a set of salad bowls that say “cool whip” on the side!

you make change in the offering plate

fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph

you have a race car on your prayer list

you stare at orange juice containers because they say “concentrate”

your mailbox is spelled male

your dad walks you to school cause you’re in the same grade

Jeff said a couple things worth contemplating:”Debating our righteousness is like debating about who can jump farther over the Grand Canyon. It doesn’t matter how far you can jump. You’re both going to fall the same distance.

You Might Be A Redneck, If ….

Catalyst is going on this weekend. They had a guest appearance by Jeff Foxworthy, below is a blog wrap-up of the first day.


Today was the conference’s first full day, and in addition to a solid lineup of speakers (Andy Stanley, Marcus Buckingham, George Barna, John Maxwell, and Gary Haugen), the hit of the day, at least for me since my momma was raised in the hills of eastern Tennessee, was the surprise appearance of comedian Jeff Foxworthy (“If you put your TV that works on top of your TV that doesn’t work, you may be a redneck”).

Foxworthy had traveled to Kenya this past spring with Andy Stanley and some others to visit various ministries. He had fun with the audience pointing out that his definition of “redneck” is “a glorious absence of sophistication,” which applies to many of the key characters in the Bible:

Samson, who grew “the mother of all mullets” and who caught 300 foxes, tied them in pairs with tails tied to a burning torch, and set them loose to burn the fields of their despised neighbors, the Philistines? “Redneck.”

How about David, who killed somebody with a slingshot, sneaked into a cave to play a trick on somebody who was going to the bathroom in there, and then spied over the fence on a naked neighbor. “That’s as redneck as it gets.”

The Greatest Honor



This past Sunday I had one of the greatest honors and privileges that a Dad could have. I baptized my two older children, Emma and Luke, at the first Cornerstone church service held on our new land. It was truly a special day for our family. I am one proud daddy! We had incredible weather. The sun was out, the sky was clear, and the view was magnificent. We were able as a church family to celebrate the Lord’s Supper and Baptism in the same service. It was a hectic day, but everything went smoothly. God just took over and truly blessed our service. I was there early Sunday to setup the tents and fill up the baptism swimming pool. I was blessed with seeing the sun rise over the mountains and just illuminate the entire property. Considering earlier in the week the forecast was calling for a 40% chance of rain, we were truly blessed with the sun and warmth of the day.

I explained the significance of Baptism by describing it as the wedding ring of the Christian faith. In a wedding ceremony, the bride and groom exchange vows, they make a covenant between each other and to God. Then, after the commitment is made, rings are exchanged as a symbol of the vows that were taken. Baptism is symbolic as well. After we have placed our faith in Jesus Christ and accepted the new covenant of His blood, we are baptized to show the world that we are united in Christ. Baptism is a beautiful symbol of the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ. Hopefully, there will be many, many more baptisms as our church strives to fulfill the Great Commission.

We also were able to celebrate as a church about the land that God has blessed us with. About a year ago, we financed an 18 acre site for $225,000 as a future building site for our church. We still owed around $60,000 for the land as of last week. We were able to announce during Sunday’s service that the land is now completely paid for. We were able to burn the bank note and surprise everyone with the announcement. An anonymous donor paid off the remaining balance on the land. For a church of our size, this shows incredible sacrificial giving. Everyone is looking forward to being a more visible part of our community and having a building that we can use throughout the week to reach people. God is moving here, I’m just glad to be part of it.

Press Release from Virginia Tech about Our Church

Here is a link to a press release about our church. We are starting to work with the Community Design Assistance Center (CDAC) of Virginia Tech. They are helping us come us with a master site plan for our church property. I’m excited about the increased visibility that this will bring us in our community. We really emphasized at our meeting Wednesday night that the land and facilities are just a tool to connect people to God.

I think this is a great way to build bridges between our community, our church, and the closest university. It’s a great learning opportunity for the students involved, and it helps us clearly define our vision for the property. Anyway, here’s a quote from the press release.


The students and staff at the center will be working closely with church representatives to develop a conceptual master plan for the church’s site. Adjacent landowners will also be engaged in the design process. Possible features of the site, in addition to the church itself and plantings, will include walking trails, an amphitheatre, a playground, camping sites, a location for showing movies outside, bus parking, recreational fields, covered picnic shelters, a skate park, and a climbing wall.

5 Years Later

Saw this over at Catalyst blog. As churches we had an awesome opportunity to connect hurting people to God, but how good of a job did we do?

Barna Research studies reveal despite an intense surge in religious activity and expression in the weeks immediately following 9/11, the faith of Americans is virtually indistinguishable today, 5 years later, compared to pre-attack conditions.
(Barna Update 8/28/06)

Thought for the Day

Here’s a good definition of truth from the book, Breaking the Missional Code.

“Truth is not a set of rules to be obeyed, mysteries to be known or evidences to be mastered, but Christ, by whom we know and are known. Truth is not discovered, it is revealed in relationship to both the head and the heart. Therefore, Truth is not something merely known or proclaimed but Someone experienced, tasted, and seen as the Psalmist says, by grace, faith, and presence that not merely knows the Truth but loves Him.”

Pastor Mark Driscoll, Mars Hill Church

Church Yesterday

We were back at Cornerstone yesterday. I got to do the welcome and announcements and body life part of the service. I’m pretty comfortable in front of large groups when I’m teaching, but I really don’t like doing announcements. I’m just not a people person.

Of course, there were a few minor technical difficulties. Our long video snake to the projector didn’t work. That means a solder joint probably broke in the connector. I fixed it once last year, but it was a serious pain in the #%$. Anyway, I think Satan has a special legion of demons that live in cables and computers. We managed to use a short cable, but I had to sit behind the screen to run the projector. I felt like the wizard in the Wizard of Oz. And then, I hit a bug in our worship presentation software, Easyworship. It has been a great program for us. It’s easy to use and very powerful. I like MediaShout, but Easyworship blows it away for ease of use. But yesterday, I hit a bug right when Galen was in the middle of a long Scripture passage. I’ll report it and see what happens. Galen did have a good message on our freedom from the bondage of sin. So hopefully, the technology wasn’t a distraction

Anyway, church was a little low on attendance yesterday. Not sure quite why, but we have been up and down a lot lately. We have some pretty important meetings this week about the structure and direction of our church. Some serious stuff to decide, but good.

What do we do with our Church Property?

I also posted this on our church website. Some food for thought

As a church, we would all agree that we are committed to developing fully devoted followers of Christ. In planning the use of our property, we need to think about how our land will help us to reach others, make disciples, and worship God.

Our land should definitely benefit the community. Too many times, churches become so protective of their facilities that they forget the reason they exist. By involving the community with our church, we build relationships, gain credibility, and are able to share the hope and forgiveness of Christ. I could envision Cornerstone being a place for conferences and community events as well. One of the first things we could do would be to build a walking trail and playground with parking. We also need to think soon about a multi-use building that could be used for services, meetings, dinners, dramas, sports, and anything else we can think of. We need more classroom space now for our children’s ministry, so we need to think about how to integrate classroom space into the building. As time goes on and we grow, we should think about how to transition into a larger worship facility that is more suited for providing an environment for our worship service. I also would like to see us continue to innovate and incorporate technology into our facilities and our worship. Good sound and video will help communicate the important message that we have to share.

I also think that the land is so full of natural beauty that we should not mess it up with metal shell buildings. My idea would be to use natural materials such as stone and wood to build the signs and buildings. An outside baptistry/fountain would be good to think about as well.

We need to trust God and focus on our goal of reaching others for Christ and making fully devoted disciples of Christ.

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